i lie awake and think of you

its very weird being home.
its always weird/exciting to come back
but this time its for three weeks!!!

i take a shower and my sisters using tresemme
and im like "heey my friend usues that"
but im supposed to know my sister... lol

aw i miss everyone
(i said "i miss karen" to my church friends like 5 times last night lol)

a few days ago:
friend:"so how are finals going?"
me and my roommamte: "eh...."
friend:"they're going??"
us: "YES they're going. thats what counts!"

AND NOW THEY'RE GONE!!!

and i actually got a B+ on psychobio. yay

"of all these days we wake
heres one to remember:
the first day of october

when i got out
you were there
knocking on the front door
the cold gets in
the things you wear
its so good its that time again
so good its that time again"

i love and miss limbeck
i guess i need to go back to listening to them
but then i really need to start doing school stuff
im still in thanksgiving mode

last night when i was about to go to sleep
i was coughing
NOT GOOD!!
i dont want to get sick again
karen and i already endure our suffering in the beginning of the quarter
aw...
but now im ok
so hopefully it was nothing
but i DO have a sore throat....
whatever
i'll just act as if nothing had happend
and go on with my normal life

damn breaking up is harder than i thought :P
what am i supposed to do when i still love him
and he wants me back and tells me he thinks about me all the time
but i know it wont work, not now, cuz im too immature?
its probably better just not to see each other for a while
but i'll miss him too much if i dont see him or talk to him at all
and i hate myself for trying to run away from the problem
trying to find other people to lean on, putting the load on my friends
but then i dunno what else to do now
i definitely dont want to get into another relationship
but i have my affectionate/dependent moods..... :P
this sucks

it feels very very weird not to have a boyfriend
especially since this whole year i've spent with joe
but it was better for both of us :)

i feel a lot better about everything...
i do miss him, even now, and i know it'll hit me hard
but then i deserve that for not trying to keep this going

i guess i'll enjoy single life for a while
so my friends, i am counting on u guyz to help me enjoy it :)

dressing up with is one of funnest things to do
dressing up with someone else who shares the "OMG I <3 DRESSING UP" passion is even better
and karen my roommate is the bestest roommate ever
not only cuz we get along and love eachother and even considered making out for our friend's birthday
but we do the weiredest things together
like dress up in matching black dresses to go to westwood or dressing up for no reason
(some pics - like yesterday's lets just dress up and sit in the hallway pic are in this album
http://ucla.facebook.com/album.php?aid=278494&l=ac599)

my enter key is broken
i dropped something onto my laptop and it flew out
so much fun

do you type really fast? - when i'm thinking too fast i do. then i make all these typos~
does it annoy people who are around you (like in the library)? - i hope not. well i don't type in the library anyway
do you/did you like high school? - high school was okay i guess. college it better
how old are you? - 18. 19 in a few months
do you know anyone who has the same birthday as you? if so name them)-i do know a few... my 6th grade english teacher, a churh friend, my friend's mom and my friend who moved to colorado
favorite pen color - green
do you like the beach? - i LOVE the beach. best place in the world
do you tan or burn easily? - ... yes. don't remind me of the pain
what do you wear the most: jeans, cords, dickies, khakis, skirts, or shorts? - skirts
do you like chunky peanut butter? - no i prefer smooth
what amazes you about the opposite sex? - their sexiness!!!
are you in love with anyone? - yea <3
name a movie that makes you cry - i am sam.
do you live for today? - i hope i can, but no. i'm constantly worried about tomorrow
what do you say when you stub your toe off of the corner of the coffee table? - "shit!!!"
what's the highest thing you've ever jumped off of and landed unharmed? - ...a tree?
does it snow where you live? - no and thank god it doesn't cuz i'll be freezing if it did
what month has the most people you know born in it? - june.
do holidays make you festive? - christmas and valentines do but everything else makes me bitter (LoL) j/k
ever had a hot teacher? - yes occasionally i do. and the fact that thye're dressed up makes it even hotter
if yes, did you flirt with him/her? - of course. given the oppoutunity why not?
do your eyes change colors? - no that'll be cool though
are you a vegetarian? - no
if no do you think you could be? - yeah. i can live on salad and junk food
spit out a random song lyric for me - "I lie Awake and think of you/The floods and fires might be coming through/But you would know just what to do/Yeah, you would know just what to do" -mirah
do you play any musical instruments? if so, what? - piano. i'm working on guitar. but ive been "working on guitar" for like two years
is sex an uncomfortable topic for you? - no...well it depends on who i'm talking with.
do your clothes match? - i try to. sometimes i don't really care though
what are you wearing right now? - black boots, brown skirt, black shirt (with the butterfly & skull) & my denim jacket
if you could only talk to one person online who would that be? - i guess whoever i talk to the most right now
do you find you use Internet language when writing notes in real life? - yes
do you find you use Internet language when talking in real life? - no. that's a little too much
ever seriously questioned your sanity? - haha yes.
what's in your fridge right now? - water, soda, juice, and applesauce
name some stores you've bought clothes in before - my favs: Urban Outfitters, Charlotte Russe, Windsor
are you a good cook? - i'm ok. i like cooking
do people mispronounce your name a lot? - occasionally i get a "maya"
what was the best Halloween costume you ever had? - i was a pumpkin when i was like 1 year old
what will you be this Halloween? - a sexy pirate <333
do you say random stuff like "I like Snickers" when you are having a conversation about something totally different? - yes...... not "i like snickers" but i do say random things and they usually start with "i like..." lol
do you like people with accents? - yes i fall in love with accents. they're either sophistcated and so beautiful or really cute
do you like children under ten? - yes they're adorable. i esepcially love babies.
are you a good speller? - no. i have a short memory so i forget how to spell everything
do you believe in love at first sight? - no. maybe lust at first sight. lol
do you wear necklaces, bracelets, anklets, earrings, rings? - earrings most often. necklaces and rings sometimes.
how long does it take you to get ready to go out? - 15 minute shower, 15 minutes to get ready = 30 minutes?
where do you plan on living? - somewhere relatively close to the beach
what would you do when the electricity goes out and you can’t rely on electronics to keep you occupied? - sleep
were you a cute little kid or an annoying little kid? - i was an adorable little girl <3
do you daydream? - alwayz.
wouldn't you just love to hug someone right now? - yes
where is your bathing suit right now? - in my drawer. i actually brought it to the dorm
what song are you listening to right now - "toxic" britney spears
who is the first person listed in your phone (book) - my boyfriend (with a "*" before his name)
have you ever cried in front of someone, and regretted? - yes. sometime i feel stupid for crying. but i do neway
when do you want to get married/have kids? - married at 24. kids at 28
tell me about your most recent dream - my dormmates were trapped inside of a museum so me & my roomate when to save them but when we got there they were having cake and coffee and my dorm-friend's girlfriend gave me advice on how to do my hair so all the girls went to a party and there was a dead spider on the red carpet so we ran away to griffith park
how many pillows do you sleep with? - two. and one small one to hug
whats your longest relationship - my current one. 8 months and 4 days
can you sing? - not realy. i love to sing though. my sister's the bestest in the world :)
was fuzzy wuzzy a bear? - yes and fuzzy wuzzy had no hair